Monday, April 29, 2013

Moment of Truth Celebrates 1000 Ausome Things #AutismPositivity2013

  Which characteristic of autism is my favorite?  I don't know.  Just being myself is ausome.  Its not possible for me to identify which trait of autism is my favorite.  Six months ago I did not identify as autistic.  I could not define the terms "stim" or "echolalia", "perseverate" or "executive function".

  I knew that I like to rock, flap, skip and shake my head a lot in private.  I know to do it in private because it got me bullied in school.  I used to see this as a waste of time and I was ashamed of my need to do this.

  I knew I talk to myself a lot and repeat the same thing over and over.  Again, I make sure to stop if I notice anyone nearby.  I knew I like to go outside with headphones on.  It keeps the annoying noise away and camouflages my repetitive speech as singing.

  I knew I am socially awkward, and struggle in conversations.  I knew I pre script most small talk.  I knew I struggle with eye contact.  I knew I don't really want to talk unless it is something I am interested in.  I thought it was a self-esteem problem.  Something for me to fix about myself.

  I knew I have a hard time setting a plan into motion, especially a plan that takes me out of my routine.  I often forget what I was planning until it is too late.  I often request help from others in carrying out a plan.  I thought it was because I was lazy and unmotivated. 

  What I didn't know was that there was nothing wrong with me. This is just me being myself, not a group of personal weaknesses standing between myself and happiness.  This is the way I work, the way I live, the way I function.  I don't need to be fixed.  Cure not necessary. 

  The same characteristics that once brought me shame and embarassment now bring me comfort and joy.  I am what I am.

  What's ausome about autism?  Acceptance

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