Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Autism Speaks: Go Away, I Don't Have Time For You

  Trigger Warning: Autism Speaks, language

   Last week Autism Speaks decided to fear monger for apples...err donations once again and demonize my neurology, calling us burdens and saying we cause families to merely exist but not live.

  Suzanne, are you seriously that upset about the bagel dates you missed back from 2006 or something?

   I didn't respond or participate in this flash blog because I felt the community pretty much said what needed to be said to you.  Yet like ketchup spilled on the floor and forgotten you stick to my shoes and take an awful lot of time and effort to get rid of. 

   You say I am an existance but not a life.  Well I must have a lot of existing to do, and you're getting in the way of it.

  I have about 4 weekly projects at work to do.  My boss is on vacation which means that I have to cover some of her work too.  My supervisor is having a breakdown which I have to cover most of her work too.  The Sunday part timer decided since people are on vacation and/or having breakdowns that he does not have to do his share of the work, so I have to work on that too, all this so that we keep our squeaky clean performance related metrics above average and we get raises.  My annual evaluation is in 10 days by the way.  We are rolling out new software and procedures to handle returned to stock inventory today, as in right now.  I have neither time nor spoons for you.

  I am missing a workout and physical therapy on my leg right now to deal with your bigotry.  That is the reason that I stopped blogging over the summer.  Veinous deficiency caused massive, painful, bleeding wounds to reopen in my leg.  I am working hard to minimize my weight and blood pressure while improving my blood flow.  I have to make up this workout, it is important, which means I will be trudging my exhausted, painful leg up a stair climber then lifting weights at 11pm tonight after work.  You still mad about those bagels?

  I have to worry about the 1-2 trips to the doctor's office I have to make weekly, and the hundreds of dollars weekly this is costing me.

  I have to worry if NYC public transportation will get me to the doctor and to work daily.  New Haven Line trains are consistantly 15+ min late on a good day. On a bad.....and what is becoming a normal day, there is usually a bullshit excuse for Metro North to shut down this line for 1-2 hours at a time.  Fuck "Autism Every Day", Suzanne.  There are real issues like Power Failure Every Day, Track Congestion Every Day, Police Activity Every Day, Branches on the Track Every Day and Signal Failure Every Day.  I have to quickly plan and find alternative routes to get to where I need to go and make the time for them.  I don't have time for your nonsense.

  Ahh, spare time, that 1-2 hours between when I get home from work and time for bed.  (Unless I need to go to the gym).  Do I....stim and perseverate to music, do I practice meditation and yoga and silence my mind?  Do I write?  Do I keep in touch with family, which is a battle for me?  Do I clean my bathroom?  Guild Wars 2 has new content out.  I like Final Fantasy XIV but I don't think I can make time in my life to commit to another Everquest/Warcraft style raid MMO.  Sparrow has a book out that I have on my Kindle, or should I reread Mirror Project?  No, wait! Catching Fire comes out this week, I should probably reread that. Portal 2 has been sitting in my Steam library for a year now.  I heard it's a classic.  I have 3 more training modules due for work this week too.

  I don't have time for Autism Speaks, and it's bullshit inaccurate fantasy view of my busy autistic life.  Many people have called for AS to change its ways.  I call for it to go away.  Manufacture jigsaw puzzles and school supplies if that's your thing.  You can even keep your logo.  Just get out of public advocacy.  You suck, no gentle way to put it.  You hurt Autistic people with your words and rhetoric.  You say we exist but not live.  Perhaps were not "living" as you define it because we spend so much of our time, our thoughts and our spoons prying your hands off of our throats.  Countless people spent countless hours and shed countless tears reacting to the pain you inflicted.  We don't need our rights and our time taken away, life is cruel enough.  Retire please.  Go Away. 

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